fh_trips | Aizuwakamatsu, Japan, Thursday [Daytime]

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spring break 2021: japan

Aizuwakamatsu, Japan, Thursday [Daytime]

Time to leave behind the hustle and bustle of big city life and head to somewhere a little quieter! Today we're back on the train and heading to Aizuwakamatsu.

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"Maybe. I'm not really sure why," she said. "Maybe I don't want others to have to deal with me if I do."

"Interesting phrasing, 'deal with'," Anakin said with a smile. "How do you think you're going to react?"

"I have no idea." It was weird to not trust herself when for the vast majority of her life she'd been the only person she could trust. "Luke said I went straight to the dark but I've never really had to deal with it."

"You didn't have to deal with that first encounter at all?" Anakin asked, raising his eyebrows.

"There wasn't really time. Trying to get Luke to train me and come back, having Kylo Ren in my head... that all happened in one day. I was on the Supremacy facing Snoke that night," she explained. "And then it was all Resistance all the time, and then I was here."

Anakin winced. "And so you learned from that if you just...didn't stop, it would be all right."

"Not exactly. But it... it wasn't a problem," she said. "I was warned away from that dark side cave and nothing happened. Kanan thought I should have had some bad effects, and nothing."

Anakin hummed thoughtfully. "Are you sure there's nothing?"

"Like what?" Rey asked, so, so warily.

"That's for you to discover, I'm afraid," Anakin said, making a face. "I can't go in and say if something's wrong. I can only judge on actions."

Rey was quiet for a moment, and this thought maybe freaked her out more than anything. "So I could have just been carrying something around with me this whole time?"

"It's possible," Anakin said, "but you have to slow down and look."

It was not possible for Rey to express how much she did not want to do that.

"Okay," she said.

Anakin gave her a sympathetic smile. "I know you don't want to."

"I'm not rushing to do it," she admitted.

"No one wants to look," Anakin said, "but a Jedi who doesn't know herself can be manipulated more easily by the Dark Side."

"And what if I don't like what I see?" Rey asked. "Then what?"

"Then we work on it together," Anakin said. "I'm not leaving you to fight this alone."

That maybe panicked her a little.

"There might not be anything to fight," Rey said, because she'd at least like to think she was good.

"Is that what you really think?" Anakin asked.

"I don't know right now," Rey said. She'd been fairly solid on that before Friday and now she was sort of worried she was secretly a monster. "I hope so."

She was really, really very much not a monster.

Anakin sent a wave of reassurance towards her. "The Force is balance--both light and dark. You choose what part you channel."

"And that's the important part, right?" she said.

"That the essential point," Anakin said, nodding. "Nothing but you can make you turn one way or the other."

"That helps, at least," she said.

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