fh_trips | Kohala Coast, Hawaii - Morning & Afternoon - Friday

Entry tags:

spring break 2011: hawaii

Kohala Coast, Hawaii - Morning & Afternoon - Friday - February 25th

With only two days of vacation left, time was running out for the guests to enjoy the blue skies and warm ocean breeze of Hawaii. Luckily, there were still plenty of things to do at the resort, for anyone who wasn't worn out from all the fun yet!

[ Guest Quarters | Resort Activities | The Spa Without Walls | Beach Activites | Tidepool Education | OOC ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I suppose we'll find out if it starts talking," Wes replied, cocking his head in confusion. "Which, given this movie's quality, may well happen."

[[aagh, lunch break over. be back in a few hours!]]

"I am pretty sure I could make effects better than this movie with a blown up condom and some ketchup," he said, laughing at the absurd movie. That probably wasn't what the creators of the movie were going for but this was great awful entertainment.

"Now, we just wait for the inevitable romantic subplot," he said, glancing over at Wesley. "I'm sure some chick will fall in love with the bloke there and end up as snake food so he can cry all manfully at the loss of his sex partner."

[No worries! Bye!]

Wesley nodded in agreement. "A Hawaiian girl, certainly. Perhaps a hula dancer."

There were always hula dancers.
"Are snakes even native to this region?" he wondered thoughtfully.

"You're asking the wrong guy," Nathan said, scrubbing his fingers through his hair and blinking at the screen. "I barely know what's native to Ireland and I'm from there. Though, I haven't seen any sign of snakes around here unless you count the ever present male pants snake. Those are abundant."

That was... surprisingly helpful. Up until that last part.

"Male pa-- oh," Wesley said as he figured it out. Yeah, he wasn't all that up on his euphemisms. Something to work on.

"Well. I don't see how snakes would fare well in this climate," he decided. "Obviously the fact-checkers on this movie didn't do their research."

Really, Wes? Shocker.

"Well, I doubt a killer...parrot would make for as awesomely bad cinema as this fucking thing," he said, pointing to the television. "Would you be scared of a parrot, Wesley? Maybe if there was blood pouring out of its beak and it was holding someone's ear in his claws but other than that? Nope. I'd just want some Fruit Loops."

"Yes, but maybe a crocodile at least," Wes protested. "It's a classic, anyway. Peter Pan?"

Obviously, this was a very important conversation to be had.

"Never seen it." Nathan shrugged a shoulder. "I mean, I know of it and all, I know the story but yeah, never wanted to really see it. Wendy sounded like a total bitch to me. I'd have been annoyed halfway through the movie. There was a crocodile in that one?"

Never seen Peter Pan? That was so strange! Not that Wes had read all that many children's books when he was a child, since most of the literature he'd been given was about demons and vampires and other Watcher-type things. But Peter Pan, wow. He supposed every young English child must've read that one. Oh. That explained it.

"Er, yes, yes, there was a crocodile. I think it had swallowed a clock?" Yeah, that sounded right. "Mainly it followed the villain around and scared him, I think."

So kind of what the snake was doing?

"So, question," Nathan said after watching that movie for a few more seconds, "was the crocodile in that movie more believable than this fucking snake?"

Wes gave it some thought and glanced at the screen.

"Yes, absolutely," he said firmly.

Huh. Look at that. Were they bonding?

"I think I hope the snake eats the lot of them," Nathan said, watching the movie with a completely amused look on his face. "The big fucking animal never wins, right? I think should movie would be revolutionary if it changed that! Make the snake! Eat the dumbass fucks who are spending their time in Hawaii in completely the wrong way."

"I quite agree," Wesley said. Hey, it would at least make the movie interesting, instead of just plain awful. Which didn't mean he wasn't totally transfixed by the film, of course.

Then he was momentarily distracted by a fight scene in which the actors stopped their "punches" about a foot away from their targets. That was just... bad.

"God, I hope they make a sequel to this," he said seriously because this movie was making him feel outstanding about his own life. "I'm just waiting for one of the cameras to get in the shot now. Or maybe they'll forget their lines and the director just said fuck it all! Seriously, I've seen amateur porn that's better acted than this."

"Suppose they did forget their lines," Wesley ventured. "And all the, er, dialogue" -- if you could call it that -- "was improvized on the spot."

That would make a lot of sense.

"I...don't know if I'd be impressed or depressed," he admitted with a raise of his eyebrow. "They get to improvise and they come up with this shit? What's that say about their talents?"

"About as much as the rest of the movie says about their talents," Wes pointed out.

What? He had a point.

"True." Nathan couldn't really argue with that. He watched the movie quietly for another few minutes. "Think these people ever worked again? I'm sure they were such hot commodities after this movie but fuck if I can remember seeing them again."

Wesley did a quick search on his laptop for the cast of the movie, then snickered when the results came up. "Apparently only one of the actors even has a picture on his page on the movie database," he reported. Made sense.

"Well, I'm sure the others are just waiting to breakout after this amazing movie," he said, nodding. "They're probably sorting through scripts and fielding offers now. Let's hope the ravages of drug use and prostitution doesn't take them away from us too early."

"Quite true, quite true," Wesley mock-agreed. "And drunk driving. Wouldn't want that."

He just wanted to cover all the bases. Obviously these talented actors needed to live nice long lives.

"Ah, drunk driving, yeah," he agreed, waving a finger in Wesley's direction. "Maybe, if they keep on the straight and narrow, we'll see them guest starring in a big hit crime drama...as the latest corpse or something! Wouldn't that be a career coup?"

"Corpses have to keep still, though," Wesley pointed out reasonably, indicating an actor on the screen who was pausing his lines to tie his shoe.

"Huh." Yeah, this movie was fucking awful and Nathan loved it. "Maybe a random in the background? Someone whose buying himself a sandwich and making like their having some deep conversation except they're just talking to the other random about how much they hate their lives and maybe they can afford to pay rent this week!"

"That, I believe they could manage," Wesley decided. "Perhaps you should write them a letter expressing your opinion? I'm sure you could get plenty of signatures."

Actually, he was going to screen this movie in the common room one day. Just for jokes.

Kohala Coast, Hawaii - Morning & Afternoon - Friday - February 25th

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527

Re: Room 527