"I would not cry," he protested, getting to his feet anyway. "I would ask nicely if you'd help me with my sunscreen and then I'd hope for a positive answer. There would be absolutely no tears on this face."

Unless the sunburn was really that awful and he was having a whiny moment. If that happened, then he might get a little teary. "And look at this, it looks like I'm escorting you to the ocean. I suppose this is my chance to prove I'm quite good at it."